


Catalyst

by TonySnark (Sherlocked729)



Category: Less than Zero (1987)
Genre: Anti-Blair, Clay and Julian Are Sorta Bros, F/M, drug overdose, drug use & abuse, major death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-24 08:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16171781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherlocked729/pseuds/TonySnark
Summary: Blair has died of an overdose and Julian and Clay get together to reminisce and reflect, for better or worse.





	Catalyst

**.     .      .**

“It’s funny…”

Julian took a drag off his cigarette as he rubbed his tired eyes. He glanced over at Clay. “What’s funny?”

Clay took a drag off his own cigarette now before he smirked sadly. “Blair was the one worried about you OD’ing and dying.”

“Do you wish it had been me instead of her?”

The question lingered in the air uncomfortably, the tension between them increasing every second that passed. Clay put his cigarette out before sighing.

“At first I did,” Clay admitted, nodding. “I did wish it at first, but… I don’t know. She wasn’t the same person after I came back. It felt more like a stranger had died instead… instead of an ex-girlfriend.”

The answer surprised Julian but he just nodded in acknowledgement before he ran a hand through his hair. He looked at the white powder on the mirror and started to cut it with a razor, separating it into several lines before he offered it to Clay.

The other man raised his eyebrows in disbelief before he shook his head. “Are you fucking serious right now, man? Blair died of a cocaine overdose two days ago and now you’re offering some to me before shoving some up your own nose?”

“All you had to say was no, thanks, Clay.” Julian leaned down and sorted the lines up quickly before closing his eyes and sniffing a few times.

“You’re unbelievable, Julian.”

He wiped his nose before he looked up at his friend. “Unbelievable? No, Clay. What’s unbelievable is that you’re going to sit there and read me the riot act and pretend you never used coke before, man.”

Clay waved him away before he stretched out on the bed beside Julian and looked at him. 

“Don’t you remember the night when you OD’d, and you were terrified that Rip was going to find and kill you for not paying him back the money? Do you remember that night, Julian?”

“Of course I do. What’s your point?”

“My point is that you’re willing to have it happen again. I paid Rip off for you this time so he wouldn’t come after you again, but you just don’t care about stopping, do you? Didn’t Blair’s death teach you a lesson?”

Julian chuckled and shook his head before he scratched his head. “Yeah, well… thanks for paying Rip off, Clay, but I like the drugs. I need them. They make me feel good… which was the same reason why you took them before. They gave you energy and you felt good.”

“Until the awful fucking depression when I crashed later, which was why I stopped.”

“Oh! Oh yeah, that’s why you decided to become a functioning alcoholic instead. Jesus Christ, Clay… _you’re_ the unbelievable one here. When did you become such a fucking hypocrite? And Blair was the biggest one of all!”

“Julian… don’t,” Clay warned, eyeing him cautiously.

Julian stood up now, unable to contain his extra energy any longer. “No, man… no. She was the one worried about _me_ when she shoving all that powder up her own nose!”

“She said she could quit any time she wanted…”

Julian felt tears in his eyes. “Yeah, well, I guess she didn’t want to quit, did she?”

Clay felt his heart involuntarily break seeing Julian’s glassy eyes. He sighed and swallowed hard. He wanted to hate him. He wanted to kill him, but he couldn’t.

“That wasn’t our Blair. She was never a quitter when it came to anything.”

Julian nodded and looked down before he cleared his throat and stiffened his spine. “Jesus, I think I need a drink now. Want one?”

Clay smirked. “I wouldn’t want to make you enable me with alcohol, Julian.”

“Shut the fuck up, Clay. Sit down.” He walked over to the counter and started to pour both of them a small tumbler of whiskey. He waited until Clay came over and jumped up on the nearby counter before handing him his glass.

Julian held his own up. “To Blair. Wherever she is now.”

Clay held his glass up and clinked it with his friend’s. “To Blair.”

Both men took a long drink, the tension slowly sinking out of the room now. They were quiet, each of them respectively thinking about their time they had with Blair.

Fast. Dangerous. Drug-filled. Hot.

As if Clay could read his mind, he looked over at Julian who had let a stray tear run down his cheek now and spoke.

“She really wrecked both of us, didn’t she? She fucked us over.”

Julian reluctantly nodded. “Yeah. She did. I think she was just… trying to figure out who she was, what she wanted in a place where she should’ve known that shit already.” He rubbed his face. "Fuck, Clay... she was a catalyst; she made us hate each other, hate ourselves. She set all of it into motion."

Clay was quiet for a minute before he looked up at the man. “We need to get the hell out of this place, Julian.”

The other man nodded and poured himself another glass before drinking it quickly, letting it burn his throat.

“Yeah. Yeah, we do.”


End file.
